Macro 31: 27 - 5 & 9 of 15

Image by Denis Giles, used under Creative Commons license

  1. Before becoming a mom, even when I was pregnant, I always envisioned myself as “me” with a baby.
  2. Now, I know better. I feel like a whole different person, as if someone entirely new inhabits my body.
  3. I feel like a Fifteen Game puzzle, with too many squares out of order and not enough room to maneuver.
  4. I focus less on more things and I focus more on one thing.
  5. My body is (still) no longer my own. It has a function beyond me – sustaining another human being.
  6. I really understand, perhaps for the first time in my life, the beauty of free time.
  7. I steal free time in twenty minute bursts while my husband helps the baby sleep.
  8. I think much more about how my actions and words appear, reflected in my daughter’s eyes.
  9. It hasn’t stopped me from cussing too much, but it should.
  10. I wear mom jeans, while I wait for my post-pregnancy stomach to shrink. Really.
  11. A party that starts at 8:00 PM seems awfully late.
  12. I wake up at 5:00, even on the weekends.
  13. My hair is thinning out, after months of remaining thick.
  14. I don’t mind (as much) the bits of silver I see, peaking out from my curls.
  15. When I can’t sleep at night, I listen to the way my husband and baby sleep.
  16. I no longer leave the bed.
  17. I realize that every person has a mother, that he or she was loved enough to be carried and born.
  18. I wonder if that person still loves him or her and if that is enough.
  19. I am softer now.
  20. Softer in my skin, softer in my mind, softer in my heart.

 

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